Broken Promises
by XxWicked-LovelyxX
Summary: Edward breaks his promise and returns to Forks, only to find a broken Bella. EPOV. First Fanfic. R&R please! Story is better MUCH then the summary. rating may changeplease remember to review!
1. Chapter 1: Upon Returning

**Ok. so this is my first fanfiction. I am new to writing but i've been reading different stories, and decided to write my own. Hope you enjoy...

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Broken Promises

Chapter 1: Upon Returning

EPOV

What a pathetic creature I am. Not only did I put Bella in constant danger with my presence before I left, but now my weakness and selfishness has led me to a place I swore never to return to. So here I am, standing in the woods, staring at her window that lay only a mile away. However, despite what risk my being backing Forks would impose on her, I couldn't be happier as I gaze upon the familiar window. How many times have I entered Bella's room that way to lie with my angel as she drifted to sleep? Oh how I wished to do it now.

But would she accept me? I hadn't thought about that fact until this moment. What if she did not love me, but rather…despised me? What if she _had_ moved on, just as I had first intended? Of course, I would have no one to blame for that but myself.

I cringed at the thought of, but could not banish it away. Anxiety pulsed through me as I took a deep unnecessary breath to calm my nerves. That didn't seem to help. An image of my Bella-------no, she isn't _my_ Bella anymore now is she? ------with that vial Mike Newton tormented my thoughts.

"Ugh. No!" But then I saw it...her face, those lovely chocolate brown eyes, her soft delicate skin, and oh, that blush. That blush made me feel as if my cold, dead heart could still beat.

So that's when I finally gave up with waiting.

I started toward her house in a walk, excitement building in each step, and before I knew it, I had picked up my speed tremendously.

As I got closer I was hit with the force of her glorious scent.

_Freesias._ It was this sweet intoxication that made that past few months apart seem ludicrous. But as I flourished in its sweetness, I couldn't help but notice a difference,. There was something else mixed in that threw her scent off. it was almost…..salty.

As if she had been crying. Or…was crying at this moment. A surge of hope coursed through me. Could it be, that these tears she shed were for me? Me, a soulless creature of the night who was selfish enough to fall in love with the epitome of perfection that is Bella?

But then, that was such a ridiculous concept, to think that her love could match my own. It would be more sensible to think that what she thought was love, was merely simple fascination. And for a human it seems very likely for her to confuse the two.

If I were less selfish, it would be easier for me to accept this. But the fact is, I would rather suffer one thousand torturous deaths then live throughout forever without her. I didn't care whether she loved me or not, as long as she would _have me._

I was abruptly shaken for my train of thought by the sound of heavy sobs. So she was crying!!!

My heart felt as if it would sink as I continued to listen to her pain. All at once I wanted to comfort her, to wrap her in the stone cold protection of my arms. Then I would make a vow right there, to never leave her side again.

The angel spoke between sobs. "Ed-edw-ward."

This was accompanied by a fresh wave of tears. Without much thought, I silently made my way up towards the entrance of her window. Expectancy gripped me hard and I was fully aware of my shaking hands as I closed the distance between myself and the window. However, I was nowhere near prepared for what I saw. It was Bella, broken and crumpled on the floor, far too skinny from what I remembered. Her hair was in disarray and a few loose strands clung to her wet face.

As I looked at her eyes, I saw a blank canvass. The gleam in them that I had loves so much was faded to nothing; she was barren of all hope and life. Her cries shook the bed that she leaned on for support. It took her a great deal of effort as she stood up and reached out for her CD player….

As the sound of Bella's lullaby filled the room, I instantly regretted the decision of hiding her possessions under her floorboards. Bella fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around her chest, as if to hold herself together. She was also clutching something to her heart. I recognized it to be that the last picture taken of us all those months ago.

I cursed myself for this mistake for the memory had only brought her pain. I ached so badly for her, for this goddess in anguish.

"Oh Bella…" I whispered as tearless sobs racked through by body.

There was a small gasp from inside the room and when I looked up, Bella's big, brown, tear-filled eyes met mine. I knew there was no hiding after that moment. Just as I knew that I couldn't turn away if I wanted to. Nor did I want to. I stepped through the window. As I approached Bella, she stood there motionless, yet slightly trembling.

Hesitantly I reached out to touch her flushed, rosy cheek.

She was always so fragile, being human, that I had been afraid of breaking her with the most simplistic touch. Now, seeing her in her current state, that fear had been increased. But Bella, never being frightened by the ferocity of my strength, pressed my palm closer with her own hand. The contact shot sparks shooting up throughout the length of my arm. She had not turned me away…yet.

All the while her lullaby continued to grow to its crescendo, and as the final chord hung in the air my Bella collapsed in my arms.

I faintly brought my lips to her ear. "Its ok love, I'm here."

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**There you go. Chapter 1. Now, lets play a little game. I get 5 reviews...you get next chapter. Flames are acceppted,and i apologize for any grammar mistakes. But honestly, i am really looking for some feadback on what you guys liked, adn what you want to be improved. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2: Part 1: Memories

**The long awaited chapter 2!!! Well, unfortunetly its not the completed chapter...only the first part, which i decided to write in a flashback. The second part is currently being written, and while i would have loved to update them together, you guys won the game!!! i actually recieved 12 reviews in less then 24 hours, and 140 people have read it, much more then i was exspecting. before we begin, i just want to thank all of you who reviewed and gave my story a chance. so now..on with the chapter!!!!**

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Broken Promises

Chapter 2-Part 1: Memories

EPOV

(Flashback)

I truly hate myself. Why am I still here? I feel as if I am rotting away what I left of my pointless existence. But I know I must never return. No matter how desperately I yearn to go back, to see _her_. As much as the memories hurt, I let my thoughts drift back to the time when I was with Bella. A happier time when I felt more complete. When everything felt right. But who am I to complain? I'm the one who left. And after all, isn't this what I wanted?

No. No, of course not. This is what I had wanted for _Bella_. She deserved a life without me and without the trespass of danger that followed with my presence. It would be an understatement to say that I missed her. For I craved her more and more each day, down to the very core of my essence. Every day I prayed to whatever God was out there, that somehow, he would bring me back to my Bella. And, if by some miracle, he were to grant my wish, I would eternally (in the literal sense) be in his debt.

Maybe there had been some other way. Was there some fact I had over-looked while making decision to leave? But there wasn't and I knew it. Nonetheless, my own sacrifice was nothing compared to Bella's well-being. She was far better off in life without a bloodthirsty vampire as a boyfriend. I knew she would go on; there was no doubt in my mind about it.

Perhaps she would meet a mortal boy. They would share human experiences like dating, marriage, children, and eventually grow old...together. Something that I would never have with Bella. For I was incapable to give it to her.

What was I thinking anyway! I'm a monster and she is an angel. How could the two of us coexist together for as long as we did?

Dammit! She had even wanted to become one of us! In truth, it was something I had fantasized many nights as I watched her sleep. I had envisioned an eternity with her. I would ask her to marry me. Yes, that was something I was physically capable of, and I desired it more then anything.

But the reality was that I just couldn't do it. I wouldn't damn her. Yet another reason why leaving was the best choice.

'Where the hell am I again?' I had lost track of all the different cities I had traveled to in hopes for a "distraction." But the agony was too much, too powerful. My weakness was unquestionable, my pain too forceful. I crumbled within the first day. The first couple of hours were utterly unbearable. I couldn't understand how she could possibly believe those lies. It was ineffable; and god was it excruciating. In some vain wish I had hoped that in the succeeding weeks that pain would begin to subside.

I realized quite quickly that it was never going to happen.

I eventually just gave up, which is exactly how I ended up in this black abyss. I purposely made sure that there was no light, for I wanted absolute darkness. I was going to torture myself with my own love. It wasn't enough that I had lost love and suffered. I wanted to be reminded of that loss. So, as I cringed in the corner of the lightless attic, which I was currently residing, I let myself drown in the memories with Bella...

That first day in which I had almost taken her life in the middle of the classroom. Bella as my biology partner. Saving her from Tyler's van. The first night Bella said my name as she slept. So many days and nights with Bella, getting to know her, and letting her fully know who I was; what I was.

Declaring by feelings for Bella in the meadow. Her fingers delicately tracing the contours of my cold, sparkling skin under the sunlight.

The feeling I received when I realized how deeply I had fallen in love with her.

Of course we had also undertaken darker times together. Such as the time we had separated in order to keep her safe from James while he tracked her. A deep cry of anguish escaped my lips as I recalled the moment that I thought I had lost her forever in the ballet studio.

Then there was the unimaginable craving for her hot, thick blood. The way it rapidly cascaded down my throat in all its richness. I was under its spell, its power. The sweetness devoured every bit of my control. My fingers would linger softly on her throat, as my mouth attached itself to her neck in an almost sensual way, unwilling to ever let go. Floating in a cloud of pure, warm ecstasy...

'Stop it!' No, no, no. That was not how I wanted to remember Bella and I. My love for her was stronger then my thirst.

I was a wretched fool; I spineless coward. The true definition of the word monster.

"Screw it." I had had enough of this. Once I popped the seal of the window open, I was making my way to my car. The road was hardly visible through the heavy downpour. If I had possessed human eyes, it would be impossible to drive in. Starting the ignition, the engine of my Volvo purred to life, and began sloshing through the flooded streets.

The rest of my drive was a blur; I had fallen into autopilot. My more sensible side was arguing with some other half of me, screaming to turn around. I chose not to comply, but the two halves of my conscience continued to quarrel. But I was too far gone, and as my gaze flickered from the road to the clock on my dashboard, I accelerated, anxious to return to the one person on earth that held my heart.

(End of Flashback)

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**Well there you have it! Hope it was all to your liking. The second part, which will start off right where chapter one left off(i promise!!) will be updated tomorrow! and now i believe it is game time...**

**Ready! Set! Review!!!!!**


	3. Chapter 2: Part 2: Painful Reunion

**Oh wow!! first i would like to say how dreadfully sorry i am for not posting this on the date in which it was promised. I admit that i was suffering from severe writer's block, among other things... (SCHOOL!) But now it is up and i hope that it meets your expectations. Thank you all of you who reviewed my story so far, and again for your patience with this chapter...**

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Broken Promises

Chapter 2 Part 2: Painful Reunion

EPOV

As I held Bella, who lay limp on my arms, I felt more complete then I had been in ages. She was still unconscious, which began to worry me; I placed her back in the comfort of her bed.

If I chose to leave now, Bella would go into hysterics in the coming morning. I was not opposed to staying if it brought Bella peace of mind.

But of course, I had my own reasons for staying as well.

The thought of leaving her now, when she was so close and safe, brought me unimaginable pain. I pondered on whether I should sit in the rocking chair while she slept, so I would not disturb her rest.

Disregarding that option, I laid next to her on the bed, above the sheets, so that the chill of my body would not affect her. Her nimble fingers began to move as I massaged my thumb across her palm, hoping it would ease her.

However, my hopes were lost.

Bella began to shake violently, thrashing against the bed. I tried to quiet her, to keep her calm, but my attempts were in vain. At that moment, Bella omitted the most deafening scream...

"EDWARD!!!!!"

From the other room I sensed that Charlie was stirring, but when Bella became silent once again he hesitantly decided to go back to sleep without checking on her. My love now lay splayed out on her bed, weak, heart racing, with hot tears streaming down her face.

She whimpered a small plea, "No, no don't leave me. Stay. Don't go Edward, please."

_Dear God what have I done. _

"Bella Shh," I frantically whispered in her ear. I cradled her in my arms, rubbing circles into her back to ease her, all the while kissing her tears away. Bella's tears turned into sobs, as she gasped for air.

If I had the ability, I would be crying along with her.

Her pain brought me an infinite amount of sadness, and the most extreme levels of guilt. Much more then was comprehensible. I clutched her to my chest and wrapped my stone cold arms around her trembling body. I had longed to do this every waking moment we had been separated, and yet I had imagined that this would be a happier time.

The sight before me now, with my angel in such despair, pierced my heart.

"Tell me what to do Bella. Please, tell me. I beg you." I uttered these words to her in between my own dry sobs in which I attempted to stifle by burying my face in her hair at the crook of her neck.

"Edward?"

At the sound of her voice, I pulled back to look at the face of my beloved Bella. She searched my eyes with tear stained cheeks; I returned the stare. I couldn't help it, although I was still filled with a vast amount of searing pain, I smiled for the first time in months.

My eyes involuntarily closes as Bella reached out to touch my face, leaving a trace of warmth everywhere her fingers grazed. The heat thawed the frigid ice that had recently consumed my heart.

But it returned as I felt Bella draw away from me with a hurt expression in her eyes. Never had I seen her look so fragile, so...broken. . .

"Bella?"

She shook her head but said nothing.

"Please talk to me Bella." Her silence was agonizing; I had never wished to hear her thoughts more than at that moment.

But they were blocked off from me, hidden in the complex crevasses that made up her mind.

I sighed, "Maybe I should give you some space," as I stood from the bed. She sprung up on her knees with a tortured expression, one filled with fear and panic. "I'll just be sitting in the rocking chair then," I promised.

Bella kept her eyes on me the entire time, not quite believing what she was seeing; that I was in her bedroom once again, sitting in the rocking chair as if it was meant for me… as if nothing had changed.

"You're back." it wasn't a question, but the look in her eyes was reason enough to believe that she was perplexed.

I didn't answer in words, but slowly nodded my head, far too nervous to even try to offer some profound explanation.

_Don't forget Cullen, she could very well reject you. _

This thought penetrated the workings of my mind, which were currently calculating the best way to put my feelings into words. I had forgotten this little fact until now, which geared my nerves into overdrive.

"Why?" Her question was simple enough, and she deserved an answer this time. However, she held anger in her voice, but the existing pain was clearly evident, which only made my struggle with words more strenuous.

I found it almost impossible to speak in the presence of her beauty. She was far too thin, hair drenched from perspiring, and her face was completely flushed and swollen from tears.

She was still the most divine creature in my world. As I gazed upon her, her lower lip was quivering with anticipation while she waited for my answer.

"Bella," I started, "there is something that I should have told you before, "something that I need you to understand."

"O-o-Kay."

"I..," _Say it you worthless being!_

I grappled with the words I knew were caught in my throat. At first I found it difficult to comprehend the reason for my hesitation. Then I realized that I was frightened of Bella's possible reaction, If I should pour my heart out to her.

That is to say, I didn't want her to turn me away. I wanted her to forgive me, rather then loath me once she heard the truth.

But the truth was the least that I could give her. No, of course I owed her far more then that. If I could I'd give her my soul on a golden platter. But I did not posses one. And besides, what did a damned thing like me have to offer her? My love? Look what my love had done to her. Crushed her, deprived her, and made her weak. The last thing I had meant to do.

"I lied to you Bella," _You Idiot, _my mind screamed at me. Yes, those were the words that I had chosen to explain my feelings to her, the reason why I left, my suffering without her.

And if it was possible she looked more confused then before.

I closed my eyes tight and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. Perhaps I should have planned my words beforehand.

When I opened my eyes Bella was on her knees in front of the rocking chair looking up at me. my breath stilled momentarily, and my body became tense. She was so close, every part of her that I was desperately in love with, her hair, her eyes...her lips. So wonderfully luscious and full. All I had to do was close the diminutive distance that stood between us...

My train of thought was brusquely infringed by the sound of an angel beckoning my name.

"Edward," my love sang. "Edward, please. Tell me." Her eyes shone with such fierceness, that I realized I could not deny her of what she asked of me. I got down on my knees slowly, so that we were barely inches apart; our gaze stayed locked on each other, not even daring to flicker away for a second.

"What are you trying to tell me Edward?" when I didn't answer she continued to speak.

"I know you are going to leave soon. There's nothing here that could possibly keep you here." She held her head down as she spoke these words to me, as if she beloved them to be true. As if they caused her pain the moment they escaped her lips. "I still don't understand why you're here anyway. If you come to check on me, well, I hope you know that vie been trying Edward. I've been trying _so hard. _It may not seem that way to you now, but...please understand that I can't seem to find any other way. Actually it's not half as bad as it appears to be. I'm starting to get used to this in fact. I'm trying to keep that promise I made you Edward. If not for me...then for Charlie's sake at least."

I listened intently as Bella told me of her affliction with each day, and the heartache it had caused her wake up every dreary morning. I literally felt my dead heart breaking as I detected the torment in her voice. She looked up at me with tears brimming her eyes, and threatening to spill over. Ever so delicately, I kissed Bella on the cheek, catching a tear with my lips. I heard Bella gasp at the sudden contact.

"What's wrong?"

"Th-This isn't real...y-you can't really be h-here." to my astonishment, she was still skeptical of my presence. And so I tried to release her of her doubt...

"But it is Bella. I swear it to you! I'm here!" With my hand cradling her neck I pulled her in close. My breath swirled into her face, dazzling her. But just as my lips grazed hers, I heard my love whimper against me.

The look in her eyes, fear, pain sadness, made my heart sink.

At that moment Bella untangled herself from my grasp; my arms never felt so empty.

_Just as I thought. How could an angel love a monster?_

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**So there you have it. Left you with a little cliffy!!! Does Bella reject Edward? you'll have to wait and see! (But not too long) LOL. so, to avoid the somewhat nerve-racking incident the last time i updated, i will no longer be promising when i will be posting further chapters. For my sanity and yours. And now my dear readers, it's that time again!! **

**Let the reviewing begin!!!!!!**


	4. Chapter 3:Explanation

**My Dear Readers, **

**I understand that it has been quite some time since my last update, and for that i am very sorry!! I have een very sick and lost my notebook(in which i write this story) TWICE!! Finally, after i fully healed and retrieved my book again i started writing as soon as possible. Now i present you with Chapter 3...**

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Broken Promises

Chapter 3: Explanation

EPOV

Last Time:

Bella untangled herself from my grasp; my arms never felt so empty. Just as I thought...

_How could an angel ever love a monster?_

Now:

_She doesn't love you!_

_She doesn't want you!_

_Liar! Betrayer!_

_Filthy, Unforgivable, cold-hearted, monster!_

The voice in my mind was growing persistent and overpowering. For some reason I was becoming more inclined to listen to these words, as Bella was beginning to confirm my darkest fears. My love gripped her middle once again; afraid that I'd hurt her, my thoughts turned guilty.

Once more I reached out to her, but yet she continued to flinch away from my touch. She had no idea how a simple gesture such as that physically wounded me.

"Bella, I-I'm sorry. Just...please-"

"What do you want from me Edward?"

I sighed heavily; feeling dejected. I could not delay this any longer, so I just hoped that the words I needed to tell her would form themselves.

"This is not a simple thing to tell you Bella...but, you see, I've seemed to find myself at a conflict. There are two options laid out before me. One I'm longing to take; the other, probably the more noble choice. However, I seem to be far too selfish to willingly journey on the latter." I paused then to look up at her face which was contorted with bewilderment.

I needed to explain myself better.

Gingerly, I reached for one of her feeble hands and placed it tenderly within my own. The way our hands seemed to fit so securely and ideally, gave me a surge of happiness; enough to fill me with the courage I needed to tell Bella the truth of my actions. I then took her hand again, which was so continentally lying in my own palm, and placed it on the hollow of my cheek. In response to my touch she involuntarily gasped as my chilled fingers held her warm ones in place.

In such a swift movement, I closed my eyes and turned my face inside her hand to breathe in her illustrious scent. The blood flowing at her wrist as it pulsed against my flesh was tempting, yes, but not the reason behind my present display of affection.

If she were to turn me away in the next few moments, then I would want to have these few precious seconds to remember.

_Before I head straight to Italy..._

Forcing myself to stop, I came to the realization that Bella was trembling and struggling to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes. Here I was hurting her yet again; something I seemed to be very good at no matter my attempts to fight against it.

Time to spit it out.

"Bella...I never fell out of love with you!" my voice broke as the misery within finally ebbed to the surface. I was collapsing; fast and hard, until what small pieces remained of me, shattered in front of her.

"Do you hear me Bella? I never stopped! Never!"

My love tried desperately to turn away from me, but I held her firmly by the shoulders to ensure that she would not escape.

"Don't you remember Bella? That day in the forest. Do you remember what I told you?"

She was silently shaking and small whimpers left her throat and yet she still managed to say, "How could I forget?"

While she tried to remain composure her voice betrayed her and it became clear that she was thinking back to that wretched day so many months ago.

"Every word I spoke to you then...was a lie."

And at this my angel looked up at me with such ferocity, that the anger she was feeling was unquestionable.

She opened her mouth to speak but I quickly took the opportunity to speak first. "Bella, please just let me say this...I need you to hear it." Reluctantly, she remained quiet. "I think you are forgetting Bella, what I told you before." I could see that I was finally breaking through to her, and my heart grew light as I continued to let the truth spill out to her

_Oh my love, you still have no comprehension of what you do to me._

"I owe you an explanation, for all of this, what I've done to you, and my actions now. Before I left Bella, I don't think you completely understood what my presence was doing to you. I was endangering you constantly, all for the sake of my happiness. But my actions came with consequences and you were nearly killed in my own home! Before my very eyes!"

Bella visibly tensed, remembering the night of her birthday, in which Jasper attacked her. On that night I was given an awakening; if Bella was in danger by my very family then how could I possibly protect her from all the dangers my existence held?

"I wanted to free you from all of that Bella. For no matter how hard I tried to protect you, you would always be at risk. And that night only served to prove it all!"

She sat perfectly still, eyes closed while clutching her arms but quietly urged me to go on.

"That leads me to that day I asked you to come for a walk with me," a paused, knowing that this would be the hardest part to explain, "the day that I...left. Please believe me when I say this Bella. It was undeniably the most painful thing I ever had to endure. For months I have shut myself out from my family, from the world, unable to escape my misery.

"Too tortured by the knowledge that I was never to see you again. Your beauty and your kindness. Your blush, your smile. Watching you as you sleep like an angel. The way my dead heart swelled with so much love when I held you. All of those things that I love but have lived without.

"I believed that if there was I chance for you to be happy without me, that I had to take it, no matter how it pained me in the process. I wanted to make your life safer, to give you a life that was filled with normal human experiences and things that I was not able to give you. I wanted you to live...without the impending danger of death lurking around the corner."

Bella made a small noise and when I looked up at her, her lips were quivering and her eyes held the faintest spark of life and hope.

"Oh Bella please say something..."

I waited in fear for her reaction, praying that the heavens would bestow some miracle upon me.

"Edward, I thought...when you left..." Her silence was heartbreaking, but there was a meaning behind it that I did not notice before.

"You still don't believe me, do you Bella?" I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding, "You still don't believe that I love you," I said in a whisper.

Just then, as I gazed into the depths of Bella's deep brown eyes, and she stared back into mine, I felt tingling warmth on my freezing fingertips. As I tore my gaze away from Bella, I redirected my stare toward my hand to see her intertwining our fingers together.

"I'm so sorry Edward," her voice held such despair, and yet what she did next surprised me to no end...

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**Yes!!! Another Cliffy!!!! I do hope that was to your enjoyment and was worth the wait. I have a pretty good idea as to where i am directing this story so i am hoping to update more often. But as i have learned, promises aren't always easily kept. This was probably one of my longest chapters but i'm not sure if its my favorite. So why don't you tell me what you think, eh? Alright then..let the reviewing begin!!!!!**


	5. Chapter 4: False Hope

**Wow!! It has been quite some time since I have last updated...and for that i am dreadfully sorry. i have no explanation really other than my severe case of writers block. Thank you so much for all of your patience**

**Without further introduction...The long awaited chapter!**

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Last Time:

"I'm so sorry Edward..." her voice held such despair, and yet, what she said next surprised me to no end.

Now:

Broken Promises

Chapter 4: False Hope

EPOV

With her hand, wrapped securely around mine, Bella brought my long, pale fingers to her delicate lips...and kissed each fingertip.

"I'm sorry, so s-sor..."

"Shh...Don't be sad love." Bella looked at me with hesitation and released my hand. I however did not move my fingers away from her beautifully sculpted mouth. Instead, I let them linger as I relished in the soft texture of her lips and silently enjoyed, to my own guilty conscience, the way they quivered beneath my touch. My angel released a breath of warm fragrant air that swirled into my face, temporarily hindering my senses. I silently begged her with my eyes to tell me everything, to release her doubt and pain. This wall that she held around her never let down, and could not be penetrated. Not with force and certainly not with my confession of undying love.

'Ironic,' I thought, 'to be so gifted and reborn with these supernatural abilities, and yet here I stand...utterly helpless.'

But then, something clicked within the workings of my brain. Bella had been apologizing; for what I wasn't sure. Bella's scrutinizing eyes were analyzing me cautiously. "Edward, please here me out, I need you to listen this time." If I were human, I was positive that my thudding heart would have paused...waiting in fear. But alas, my own heart was dead --a chunk of cold, unbeating, granite stone. Nevertheless, my reaction was quite the same. I merely nodded in response and waited for her to continue, but I failed to maintain a grasp on my patience. So again I urged her to speak.

"Really Bella, you have no idea how... excruciating this is for me. I don't know if you could fully comprehend the ferocity of such...raw agony. But if you will only let me try to ex..."I let my voice break off mid-sentence to analyze her expression which was surprisingly...blank. There was no hint of sadness or confusion, as I originally assumed I would see.

Slowly I saw her face change to one of calm, sheer determination. "Edward this has to end now I know **exactly** why you are here, so _please_...don't try and spare my feelings." Frankly, I couldn't even begin to fathom what she was speaking of, but I remained silent in order to learn where this was going and hoped my expression wouldn't give me away. "Do you honestly think Edward, after all this time I've known you, that I wouldn't see through this charade? Or do you truly believe that I am that pathetic?"

Pathetic? Bella? Never! How could she even consider that?! Had I deceived her so thoroughly that it made her doubt herself this way? "Bella no! Why would you even come to the conclusion that I--"

"Stop it Edward! Just stop lying to me! That's all you've ever done and I can't take it anymore .You don't love me...ok I get it. But stop pretending that you do out of pity for me! I'm not some...play thing Edward. You can't come back now and just have you way with me. When you're bored you'll just leave again!!" And with those words, I could feel a sharp penetration in my chest, as if Bella herself had slashed a knife through my entire being. Though she tried to hide it, I could faintly see the soft tears that trickled down her cheeks. Despite my current emotional state, I gave it one last shot...

I was in close proximity of my love and her back was faced toward the wall. In one fluid movement I had her pinned between it and me. "Edward what the hell do you think you are doing?!"

"Bella I've had it!" I whispered harshly, my face barely inches from hers, "Just tell me now Bella, forgetting everything else we've said tonight...Do you love me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"It's not a difficult question Bella. Now I think you have suffered enough, just as I have--though you may continue to doubt it--and five months apart is far too long. So I'll ask you again. Do you love me?"

"I-I really can't ans--"

"You heard me Bella. Now tell me! What's in your heart love? Please!"

"I love you," she sighed, and from the conviction in her voice I believed it to be true, "How could I not?" Bella whimpered and held her head down. I slid my finger beneath her shin to lift her head up. As her gaze met mine I felt a small smile creep upon my face. "Surely you must know that I love you too?"

"Impossible," I heard her mutter. Her reluctance and stubbornness was uncanny!

"We'll just have to see about that my love." Now, with all of Bella's hesitance toward me and my confessions, can you imagine the surprise I felt when she crashed her lips to mine? I however held up no argument to her newly found confidence. All too soon however, Bella pulled herself away from the confines of my arms. 'Odd,' I thought, 'had she ever torn herself away from me before?' Hmm...Not that I could recall.

No matter, in those few seconds I felt abundantly compelled with joy, I felt...almost complete. I lowered myself to whisper In Bella's ear, "Oh love, you have no idea how long I've waited for this," and barely recognized the voice as my own. Never, in all five months we were separated, had my voice ever contained a thimble of emotion such as this. I felt myself frown as I recalled those moments now.

(Flashback)

_Knock. Knock. 'Edward may I come in?' I lay on my couch carelessly, a worthless heap, as the thoughts of my pixie-like sister penetrated my mind. "Make it quick if you will." I mumbled this incoherently into my throw pillow, fortunately--for her--we vampires possess supernatural hearing. "What was that? Has Edward finally fallen off of his proud pedestal, agreeing to speak with me? Oh what a remarkable occasion!" Her anger was evident, and the sarcasm dripped like acid off her tongue. But as she walked through the door and saw my defeated form, her demeanor changed slightly, but still possessed a flare of determination._

_When she merely stood there, I made it appoint to speak up, as to hurry her along and leave me to my misery. "Pray tell, __sister of mine__, what is it that you want from me...__**exactly**__?" Now it was my turn to sound sharp, she however did not back down. "Well, well...how the mighty have fallen. Would you be so kind as to inform me, __brother dear__, why you are in such a rut when you could be back in Forks with--"_

_"Alice not another word!!" How dare she bring this up again? Wasn't I suffering enough?? Or was my pain amusing to her?! "Oh, was it something I said? How__** thoughtless **__of me." Her eyes narrowed at me as she spoke the word 'thoughtless.' Now what was she accusing me of? "So is that what you think of me Alice? That I was thoughtless for leaving Bella--and for her own damn protection?!" Alice, always quick on her feet, responded with vengeance._

_"No! I think you are thoughtless for assuming that either of you could exist without the other! Haven't you seen yourself lately? Well take a good look. If this doesn't give you even the slightest indication of how desperately you need Bella then...I don't know what will!!" As if I have not already realized that. Of course I needed Bella! Was she not the light in my dark world? The purpose of my existence? She was, after all, a fallen angel. It pained me when Alice had said her name now, and I visibly cringed. When my sister saw this however, it only served to prove how lost I was without her._

_"Alice," my voice was much softer now, for the pain was stronger than my annoyance with my sister, "I couldn't stay. No matter how much I longed to. I never wished to leave her side, you must know that."_

_"Then why didn't you turn her?" Alice's tone contained no hint of pure curiosity, she had always been set in that direction. Her mindset in that manner was firm and unchanging, just as my opinion was of Bella's transformation. I would never let it happen, but Alice already knew that. "You know exactly why I couldn't do that! Do you really think that I could have damned Bella to this existence? No, if I really love Bella...then I must stay out of her life. Just as I am doing."_

_"Fine then Edward. I don't have the slightest notion of how you are able to bear this type of pain... But sooner or later, you'll have to go back. If not for your sake, then for Bella's at least." And with that, my sister departed from my room, leaving me solitary to my torment._

(End of Flashback)

"Edward?" Somewhere off in the distance, I heard a soft voice calling "Edward." The voice was female and angelic...melancholy even. But at last I realized that the name she was calling was my own. When I snapped back into the present I saw Bella before me, panic stricken. "Quite sorry love, I was just...thinking." Sadly however, with the mastodonic amount of delectation I was feeling, I could not possibly predict the events that were inevitably about to unfold. For I was completely and utterly blind to the pain and heartache that was lurking in my near-future...

* * *

**I sincerely hope that was all to your liking. This was my longest chapter yet, and while i have a feel for where the story is going, i do hope that i could further improve my writing syle. Any further suggestions are highly appreciated...so please don't forget to review!!**


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